The shoulders

When women expose their shoulders, in strapless tops, swimming costumes, evening dresses, negligees etc, it is sensual. They are inviting the touch of a hand on their very exposed skin, beginning at the shoulder. The smoothness of the skin on shoulders cannot be overestimated. This is an area where men can begin the sensual touching which may ultimately lead to seduction. Many men find it seductive when an exposed shoulder strap slips off a shoulder. Sensual women know they shouldn't be in too much of a hurry to straighten the strap. The sexiest thing is to let it be. The slipped strap could be the first step to undressing.

The knees

Women's knees are curvier than men's. They may not be your number one turn-on, but fashion regularly exposes these curves with short skirts, shorts and skirt slits. Think how often women cross their legs when seated and show a smooth curved knee. Women also know the crossed leg with exposed thigh is powerful. This is one reason mini skirts have always been successful. There are many 'leg men' who find well-shaped and good-looking women's legs the most attractive part of her anatomy. The curves of a woman's leg, including the shape of the knee, repeat the total curve of the female body. The muscles of the calf, the curve of the instep on the foot, the curve of the upper thigh and the smoothness of these areas emphasised by smooth soft skin and hosiery which flatters, are all seductive.

Men seem to have a preference for a particular part of a woman's anatomy when sexual excitement is on the agenda. They can be divided into three categories:

* leg men

* bum men

* breast men

These are the body areas that turn them on and with which they make superficial judgments of women. Others are influenced by two out of these three, and some men like all areas of a woman's body. A woman knows the area of her body which fascinates the man in her life or a potential lover, simply by observing and remembering where his hands move to when seduction begins. Of course, many men will tell you it is the overall impression that counts, including personality, her way of expression and her outlook on life. Nevertheless breasts, legs and backsides are areas of the female body which are noticed in public and many women, with their choice of clothing, emphasise them deliberately.

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There are many variations when it comes to colours and even the names given to them. We will only look at the most popular, which will certainly give you plenty of scope to identify the meaning of the colours you have chosen. If you want to understand, for example, the meaning of cobalt blue, electric blue, baby blue or duck egg blue, read the following basic blue messages, consider your choice of brightness or paleness and make adjustments accordingly. Use this as a general guide for understanding colour in your bedroom.

Do this quick questionnaire. Glance at your bedroom once more. What is the overall colouring? Don't get hung up on details. Majority impression is what we are after.

What colour have you chosen for:

• the walls..................................................................................

• the ceiling ...............................................................................

• the floor ................................................................................

• the furniture ............................................................................

* with natural timber floors and furniture decide whether the colour is closest to brown or beige.

What colour is the bedspread or doona cover, sheets and pillowslips? ..................................................................................

Look at your main bedroom accessories. They add their own colour power, but are minor players.

What colours are the:

• lamps.......................................................................................

• cushions ..................................................................................

• paintings? ................................................................................

Now you have an overview of your predominant colour scheme. We have listed below the colour psychology of your choices. Look at our information for the predominant or major colour in your room and then check the meaning of the other colours you have used for accessories.

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There are two distinct types of Classic bedroom:

1. The traditional style, which uses darker coloured antique furniture, such as rosewood and mahogany. Softly draped chintz type fabrics with traditional (and somewhat old world) designs based on roses are commonly used. Piping and tassels may feature. Traditional is the most detailed and tailored look in Classic style bedrooms.

2. The modern style which uses lighter coloured classically styled furniture which never dates. These pieces are not extreme and probably can't be given a date. They follow well-accepted style lines. In this modern look, a few antique heirloom pieces are sometimes added because they are quality Classic items. Fabrics still drape well, although they may not necessarily be as tailored as the traditional style. Bedspreads are immaculately smooth and everything has a neat and tidy finish. Sometimes a doona may be used, but it is very smooth, with a pleated rather than gathered valance. It is a well-groomed look though softer and slightly more relaxed than the traditional style.

The female Classic bedroom has either tailored floral fabrics or quality plain fabrics which fall in soft lines. Colours are most likely neutrals with the barest touch of colour to them, or traditional muted blue, green, maroon or dusty pink. It may have some romantic elements to it as well, as the Classic woman often likes to soften the image of the elegant classic style when it comes to bedroom decoration. The room is always neat and tidy and often has soft flowers in traditional vases. The Classic woman is at all times a well-groomed woman.

The male Classic bedroom has the best quality plain fabrics, or geometric patterns such as some tartans, herringbone or other angled lines, usually in fairly subdued, more masculine colours of dark blue, dark green or burgundy, with a neutral contrast of beige. This bedroom has a very elegant, serious look, rather than being soft and inviting. It is always neat and tidy and the bed is always well made.

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The female Contemporary bedroom tends to be the modern style of contemporary bedroom rather than the minimalist style. Fabric designs are abstract and colourful, with combinations of bright blue, pink, turquoise, red, orange and yellow. Multicoloured geometric patterned doonas are combined with matching curtains, plain curtains or wooden slat blinds. Polished wooden floors are common, sometimes with a rug beside the bed as something soft to put feet on in the mornings.

The male Contemporary bedroom is often the minimalist style with more angular lines and no soft decorative elements. Men tend to prefer plain strong-coloured doonas as opposed to the multi-coloured variety. Men also don't see the need for unnecessary items of furniture or decoration. Polished floorboards are common in the male Contemporary bedroom. Colour is secondary to the design lines of the furniture.

The personality of the Contemporary is similar to the Dramatic: clear, direct yet more relaxed and colourful. Expect contemporary social behaviours to be reflected in terms of rights, sharing of tasks and emotional and sexual expectations. What does a Contemporary person look like? Contemporary. They prefer European designers, or unusually talented local designers. They can display lots of colours put together carefully or adore basic black. A little shine appeals too.

They are usually slim and striking in their appearance, with more angles in the body design than curves and the clothing choices will have angled simplicity which has its own built-in sophistication. An example of a Contemporary was Diana, Princess of Wales.

What will not go down well in the sexual relationship is the mundane or the ordinary. Contemporary people are seemingly sophisticated and almost always very stressed. They work hard and play hard. They lead very full lives. When it comes to sexuality they could well be like the rest of us. 'Sex? Yes please and a lovely night's sleep. I am exhausted.'

Key words: sharp, clean, modern, trendy, angular lines, minimal colour or bright multicolour, no fussiness, minimal furniture, minimal decoration, relaxed casual holiday feel.

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The Romantic person's bedroom has lots of curves in decoration, and in design for bed linen. So your strategy is sensuality. Romantics think and breathe sensuality all the time: in their touching behaviours towards you, in the way they dress and undress, in the way they make the bed and in their attitude to setting the table and cooking food. The Romantic woman full romantic seduction ritual and she is ready for it most days. Start in the morning with loving suggestions and perhaps a phone call during the day if you are at work.

Make sensual and enticing suggestions of what may happen later in the day.

Dinner at a romantic restaurant, with dimmed lights and a seductive atmosphere, or perhaps a lovely view of city lights or moonlight over water is to set her pulse racing. Remember the flowers and there nothing like red or pink roses to set the scene. If dining at choose romantic music, definitely dim the lights and create a sensual bedroom with perhaps rose petals scattered in the bed. Take your time, don't rush the foreplay. Long and sensual is an important part of the ritual. Soft, tender caresses the passion. Undress her slowly and admire out loud what you see.

The Romantic man also enjoys being treated in a very sensual way. Take a lot of care in planning dinners and special events. Cook dinner for him and invite him to taste as you cook, to be close to you in the kitchen. Get him involved so he can be touched and kissed as the cooking is bubbling along. If you dine out choose an elegant and romantic restaurant, with good atmosphere and subdued lighting or candles. Foreplay is very important. He enjoys the slow seduction process enormously. Expect your underwear to tell him a lot about your intentions.

Make it revealing, have a sense of delicacy and choose pastels or white. You will be good at being coy. Wear alluring perfume, tease him a little and breathe heavily when you are near. And in bed, take your time. Whisper sweet words in his ear and plan how sensual you can be.

Good news: romance is around every curve.

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By restructuring our old inappropriate beliefs with these positive new beliefs, it is virtually impossible to entertain a negative thought. And if a negative thought does appear on our inner movie screen, we can easily learn to recognize it and slide it off.

Without a negative thought we cannot experience a negative feeling. And without a negative feeling we cannot become depressed, fearful, unhappy, angry, anxious, resentful, guilty or frustrated nor can we experience any kind of downer or negative attitude or mood.

"Change your thoughts and change your life," is the slogan of the Science of Mind movement. As long as we are calm and relaxed we can change our thoughts in a second. But once a negative emotion is triggered, it can take hours or even days before we can calm down and become rational once more.

The emotional component in every case of cold or flu is now clear. Invariably, it consists of the same chain of events. By perceiving the world through negative beliefs, a negative thought arises which sets off a negative feeling which triggers the fight or flight response. Stress mechanisms are then put into effect that suppress the immune system and cause us to feel lonely, depressed, helpless, tense, uncomfortable and upset.

Yet each of us has the personal power to block this health-destroying chain reaction by refusing to think a negative thought. By doing so, we may not only prevent or lessen the symptoms of a viral infection. We may also prevent cancer, an ulcer, hypertension, rheumatoid arthritis or any one of a long, melancholy catalog of stress-related diseases and dysfunctions.

Undoubtedly you will hear such excuses as "I need to get angry so I can appreciate the calm periods" or "We can't feel happy unless we have blue periods to contrast them with." In reality, the only time we need to experience a fear-based emotion is when we are actually threatened by physical danger. Other reasons are mere excuses by people who prefer the stimulation of strong emotions to the seemingly unexciting alternative of inner peace.

If and when you do experience a negative emotion, let go of it as soon as you can. Never repress a negative feeling. The best way to calm down is to take a brisk walk or run or to do push-ups or sit-ups or any other type of vigorous exercise. Immediately you calm down, forgive the person about whom you upset yourself. Then forgive yourself for becoming upset. Take responsibility for what has happened and realize that no other person has the power to go into your mind and upset you. We upset ourselves by reacting when another person pushes our buttons. We can change our buttons by changing our beliefs.

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Probably the most useful of all physical techniques is the ability to recognize the early warning signs of an impending cold.

These signs frequently precede onset of a cold by up to twelve hours. They are: the nose and throat feel dry and tight; and mild, tickling sensation exists in the throat; you feel less hungry than normal; and you may also have a mild feeling of being slightly below par.

As soon as these signs become clearly discernible, begin doing everything possible to retard progress of the cold and to build up immunocompetence.

Stop smoking and drinking alcohol. Begin drinking extra fluids such as water, juices, soups and teas. Minimize your upcoming schedule and work load. Stay calm and relaxed and avoid stress. Take a brisk walk, if you can, to stimulate the immune system. But after that, stay rested and conserve energy. Go to bed early, remain warm and comfortable. If you don't have to go to work, rest and recuperate at home. Read review of other physical steps we can take to relieve cold symptoms, to make ourselves feel better and more comfortable, and to shorten the duration of the infection.

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Vaccines have been developed against influenza, pneumonia and some allergies. Thus far, efforts to produce a cold vaccine have been unsuccessful although scientists claim to have identified a relatively stable part of the cold virus's outer coat against which a vaccine may one day be developed.

By identifying the types and variants of influenza virus, scientists have developed an effective vaccine. But since the virus changes its antigen every year, immunity seldom lasts for more than twelve months. At present, the vaccine is also effective against only a single variant of the disease (a statement subject to future change).

Since influenza vaccine must be produced months in advance, and no one knows exactly which variant will predominate next winter, predicting which vaccine to manufacture is an inexact science. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC) continually monitor new flu mutations throughout the world. Each spring, CDC representatives meet with influenza advisory committees to try to determine which strain of virus to include in next season's vaccine.

Despite this pooling of experience, they can still be wide of the mark. When the swine flu appeared in 1976 its generic make-up closely resembled that of the Spanish flu that caused the worldwide epidemic of 1918. The U.S. Government prepared to vaccinate all Americans against what seemed like a particularly virulent rogue virus. But it all turned out to be a false alarm and some people who received the vaccine experienced neurological problems.

Nor is flu vaccine entirely free of side effects. Between four and twelve percent of recipients have experienced mild flu symptoms for twenty four hours after injections. More rarely, people who are sensitive to eggs may develop a serious allergic reaction. Many people also experience pain and tenderness at the inoculation site.

Most vaccine in use today is bivalent, implying that it is effective against a variant of either A or B types. However, significant protection seldom lasts longer than six months and a person is still only immune to the mainstream variant Inoculation provides little immunity should a new subtype appear. And some researchers believe that vaccines tend only to serve to help promote evolution of new flu virus strains.

If you do decide to be vaccinated against flu, remember that it takes some fourteen days for the immune system to produce antibodies in response to the injection. For maximum protection, you should be vaccinated by mid-October.

The prescription drug Amatadine is also used to prevent Type A influenza in high risk populations. It can be taken up to two days after symptoms appear. However, Amatadine may cause side effects ranging from poor concentration to mild headaches, insomnia or irritability.

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Assuming you do not have a fever, take a long, relaxing soak in a hot tub bath. If only a shower is available, let the water run as warm as you can stand with comfort, and allow it to flow over the back of your neck and shoulders and on down the back. Do not bathe or shower if you have a fever.

Prepare a cup of green or black tea, or a herb tea, and add a teaspoon of lemon juice. Sip it as you relax in bed. Then settle down comfortably and read the remainder of this book. Or read something else you enjoy.

Don't get up until you are certain you do not have the flu or a fever. Rest in bed for as long as your temperature remains above normal.

Step nine. Numerous experiments have demonstrated that immunocompetence soars when the body is deeply relaxed and the mind is calm and serene. In controlled studies, a measurable rise in immunocompetence has occurred in as short a time as one hour.

Ideally, this step should follow Step Eight and you should be lying in bed sipping a cup of hot tea with lemon and perusing the pages of this book. If not, remove your shoes and tight clothing and lie down flat on your back. Keep the arms and legs flat and support the head with a pillow.

Take six long, slow deep breaths. Take care to fill the bottom of the lungs first, before expanding into the top. Gradually slow the rate of breathing to four breaths per minute. Complete twelve or more long, slow, deep breaths.

Then, limb by limb, mentally relax your entire body. Relax each arm and each leg, the shoulders and torso. Then relax the forehead, eyes, cheeks, mouth, tongue, jaw and neck. Picture yourself as relaxed as a rag doll or a string puppet.

Now, imagine yourself in an elevator at the top floor of a 100-story building. Look up at the floor indicator above the door. It now displays the digital number 100. The elevator then begins to descend at a rate of approximately one floor every two seconds. Keep watching the indicator as it counts down the floor numbers from 100 to 1. Silently count along with the indicator as you look up at it. By the time you reach the ground floor, you should be in a delicious state of detachment from worry and pressure, with every muscle free of tension and with the mind calm and unruffled.

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While beliefs that fit these patterns don't cause headaches directly, they cause us to perceive potentially stressful events in a stressful way.

For example: Julia's sister, acting as executor of their mother's will, keep for herself a handsome antique clock. Although it wasn't specifically mentioned in the will, Julia feels certain that her mother intended her to have the clock and that her sister was aware of this. As a result, Julia decides that she will never forgive her sister. A few weeks later, she begins to experience migraine headaches. Although she isn't aware of it, whenever she analyzes the past and begins to feel bitter and resentful over the clock, a migraine often appears soon afterwards.

We can easily see that this situation fits into several of the patterns that identify negative beliefs, such as unforgiveness, analyzing the past, wanting things, and so on.

Were Julia to let go of these beliefs, in all probability, her migraines would disappear. To let go of an undesirable belief, you simply let go of it. This is made much easier when we replace it with a

positive belief. Was Julia to genuinely adopt the positive belief: "I forgive and release forever anyone I have not forgiven, in particular my sister," her migraines would very probably disappear.

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