You can easily lose sight of the fact that there is no scientific evidence that stress causes cancer. You may be bombarded by urgings from friends and family to control the stress in your life because you have had cancer. Even casual comments take their toll: "I told you that you were working too hard." "You can't afford to get all wrapped up in everyone's problems any more."
The idea that you caused your cancer and can control your future health is reinforced by many popular self-help books. They suggest that you developed cancer because of repressed hostility, because you spent your life taking care of others' needs instead of your own, or because you did not love yourself enough.
Dr. Bernie Siegel, in his best-selling book Love, Medicine, and Miracles, makes broad statements based on anecdotes and theory, not on fact. He states that 15-20 percent of all patients unconsciously, or even consciously, wish to die. He later states that the onset and course of disease are strongly linked to a person's ability and willingness to cope with stress.
The aim of such self-help books is not to make you feel guilty about having gotten cancer but to make you feel empowered. If your mind could cause your cancer, changes in how you think, feel, and live will keep you from having cancer again. Siegel's words of empowerment excite readers by claiming that potentially all patients can learn to heal themselves and stay well, that the course of your disease is strongly linked to your ability and willingness to cope with stress, and that if you can believe that you will get well, you have laid the foundation for your cure. He asserts that your attitude toward yourself is the single most important factor in healing or staying well and that your decisions concerning such things as eating, sleeping, smoking, exercising, and wearing seat belts control about 90 percent of the factors that determine your state of health. Not one of these assertions is based on scientific fact. Siegel's books are best-sellers because people want to have control over their health and their lives. He offers you this sense of control.
Love, Medicine, and Miracles presents some wonderful points, such as the importance of working as a team with your doctor and trusting your doctor, the value of support groups, and the limitations of statistics. It offers healthy philosophies, such as the idea that there is always hope, that there is no such thing as false hope, and that the key to a full life is aiming for personal peace and peace with those around you.
Unfortunately, interlaced with his helpful messages is the dangerous theme that you are responsible for your illness, for getting well and staying well. Dealing with cancer is difficult enough without the added burden of misplaced guilt. Trying to avoid stress or trying to control your response to unavoidable changes and losses can be extremely stressful and unrealistic.
Life is full of good and bad stresses. To be human is to be involved with others, and to feel life's pain and sorrow. Unless you are an unfeeling zombie, living well will include times of grief and frustration. The only way for you to avoid life's stresses is to hide from the world. This would mean hiding from all of life's joys, too. The whole reason for surviving cancer is to live your life, not to hide from it.
After surviving cancer, you should indeed try to change circumstances that cause unpleasant stress, to improve relationships, and to accept and love yourself. These changes will enhance your quality of life and help you get and stay well.
At the same time, though, remember that you cannot control the world around you. You are not doomed to recurrence if you lose your job, or get in an argument with your child, or grieve over the loss of a loved one. Your body can handle normal life events, especially if you are honest with yourself and share your feelings. Getting adequate rest and eating well are two concrete ways of helping your body deal with stress. Minimize the detrimental effects of stress by learning to decrease negative stress, handle unavoidable stress, and turn negative stress into positive stress. Find a balance between what is known scientifically about the mind-body connection and your own beliefs.
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Tags: Cancer
Tags: Cancer